As most of you know I have issues with perfectionism. I don’t really THINK I have these issues but my behavior tells me different; actions speak louder than words so to speak. The problem with wanting everything to be perfect is that it keeps me from trying new things. I make up my mind I cannot do something because I don’t know how and if I try it won’t be right so, why bother. The problem with that attitude is that it stunts personal growth. It is a convenient excuse to not bother; it allows me to be lazy and that is not acceptable to me. Once I decided that being lazy was worse than not doing things perfect I have been able to let go.
I have huge food issues. I am a really picky eater and trying new foods is really difficult for me. Trying new foods is hard enough but cooking them is even worse. With all the lifestyle changes I have made in the past year, not eating starches has been one of the biggest challenges of all. Every once in a while I have a huge craving and I like to figure out how to satisfy the craving without eating the starch. This time, I have been craving lasagna. I decided to ask my mom to teach me how to make zucchini lasagna. Whenever I made traditional lasagna I always ended up with soup so the transition from traditional to zucchini wasn’t a no brainer for me. I quit trying to make it years ago. (if you can’t do it right don’t do it at all…) Asking mom for help was smart because she has always been a good cook but she doesn’t necessarily use recipes and I cannot “wing it”!
I was amazed at how little the amounts of ingredients used. No wonder I had soup; my measurements were way off, a result of my winging it by the way! When we were done, I was sure this was going to be horrible. I do not like zucchini at all and I knew if I could taste it I wouldn’t eat it. Mom showed me how to slice the zucchini very thin and then she blanched it, something I would have never known to do. Apparently that takes the bitterness away? When the sauce was put on I thought mom had lost her mind. There was hardly any sauce at all, she used a spoon, I used a ladle! I didn’t think there was enough sauce or cheese to cover up that horrible taste.
I brought home the casserole and cooked it for dinner. I decided to have it as a side dish so that if it was awful we didn’t have to go out to dinner. John wouldn’t touch it at first. I was surprised that it wasn’t horrible. I might say it was even good. John finally took a taste and we both agreed that it would not kill us. I can eat this, on occasion, to satisfy the cravings of the higher calorie and carb original. A smaller serving is actually much better for me.
Learning to live a new lifestyle isn’t easy. It is full of compromises. Letting go of perfect is one of those compromises. Learning to try new things is another. It doesn’t matter whether it is with food or other things, opening my mind and allowing that gray area of life in is a very good thing. It makes me grow and sometimes I even learn to like it.
Your challenge for the week is easy, try something new. It doesn’t have to be food related, just do something different, open your mind and give it a go. Let me know what you did and how you liked it. I promise it won’t be as bad as you think!
marilyn's mind 
Great write as always, Marilyn. You can layer other vegetables that you prefer in place of the zucchini and even combinations work. I use variations of broccoli, eggplant, mushrooms, cabbage, other squash, corn, etc. Whatever you like can be added.
My huge fear is playing the piano or organ in front of people…what if I make a mistake. I once took music lessons and refused to play for the teacher for six months. (He used to arrive early as he knew I always practiced before he came and listened to me without me know it.) Crazy, I know. I was asked to play for our church and have managed to put them off for two years but that ended this weekend when the head of our church arrived and heard me playing. He has given me one month to be ready to play AND the music will be our most challenging hinario consisting of 150 hymns! When I finally ran out of excuses of why I could not possibly do this, he said, “You have more faith than anybody I know. Ask God to help you.” mmmm, why didn’t I think of that! Anyway, I made a commitment to do this and now am glued to the keyboard to make it purrrrfect, which I can not because I do not even have the music for some of the hymns, which was excuse number 43. He said, “Play by ear. Better yet, by faith.” So believe me, Marilyn, I absolutely understand your situation. Perfectionism is so crippling…and absurd, of course. Love lovin’ you! hugs, pat
thanks for the cooking tips!
i understand the playing in front of people fear, I had that too and I do not play nearly as well as you do! I decided to take lessons again as an adult and after a couple months of lessons the teacher had a recital. That was the reason I quit lessons as a child! I told him I would play if I could go first, that way I might stick but at least I wouldn’t be comparing my self to others & then have to play. It was a good decision. I didn’t play well, but I played ok. And I got through it. God Love Janie, she offered to go with me for support and it was so nice.
I put this in my God jar for you Pat, please let me know who it goes. I already know the answer (God always wins!) but I want to hear anyway!
lots of love,
marilyn
Marilyn, a poem I wrote last week that will post during the night. Look for it tomorrow; it is called, “Whistling.” It is about perfectionism. Once again we are guided by the same muse. hugs, my dear friend, pat
I will surely watch for it Pat. I think it is amazing how we walk the same path so far away from each other. God is good. All the time! xxoo