I have to agree with Oprah, I cannot believe that after all this time I am still dealing with my weight.  I have lost and gained the same 50 pounds for the last 10 years.  Forget about the other 30 that I just ignore. 

I try really hard to pay attention to ways God speaks to me.  Whenever I hear this passage, it makes me think of dieting.  Romans 7:15-20.     “15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

When I start on a diet and fail, I am so mad at myself.  Why can I not stick to it?  I cannot think of many diets that I have not tried at one time or another.  I have been on liquid diets, Adkins, high fiber, injected with pregnant woman’s urine (wonder who donates that, I didn’t care at the time if it actually worked!), taken diet pills, and gone vegetarian which was a dismal failure.  Did you know that you have to eat vegetables when you are a vegetarian?   I add so much cheese to cover up the taste of the vegetables that I actually gained weight.  I tried to become an exercise bulimic but getting to the gym was never a priority to me.  I was actually a Group Leader for one popular diet program for a couple years.  I liked that one but just can’t get into it anymore.  I was hypnotized a couple times too.  I would love to get the Lap Band but don’t have a spare $15,000.00 hanging around so I am going to have to do it the old fashioned way.  Does anyone know how much it costs to have your mouth wired shut?

I have come to believe that I am addicted to fat.  Not addicted to being fat, but addicted to fat itself.  Who likes a potato with nothing on it?  But add butter, sour cream, bacon and cheese and now you have something.  You can fry them or make hash browns, even if you roast them in the oven you add fat.  What about the potato chip?  No wonder almost every diet says to stay away from potatoes.  We are encouraged to eat sweet potatoes instead of white potatoes since they are “better” for us.  Have you ever had sweet potato French fries?  Man, they are good!

Fish is another one.  I am not a big fish eater but if you fry it, I will eat.  I had some terrific grilled salmon that had a sauce made with mayo, red onion and parmesan cheese.  Now that was good.   You cannot put enough fat on sushi to make me eat it. 

I have been reading a lot about eating natural foods.  One article said if it didn’t come from God, don’t eat it.  Eating fat free mayonnaise or fat free cheese is a sin, I am sure of it.  If you try to feed it to rats I bet they would turn away.  How on earth are we supposed to eat it?  Nothing that bad can come from God.  That is very clear to me.  Then another article said that if it comes in a box or bag, don’t eat it.  Doesn’t rice, brown or white, come in a bag?  And how are we supposed to eat pasta?  All pasta comes in a box or bag doesn’t it?  Are we supposed to make our own pasta?  Are crackers hard to make?  And if I make my own homemade bread, I will be big as a horse. 

Is butter considered natural? What about cheese?  Is it the product itself or how it is made?  If I have to make everything I eat, I should lose a lot of weight.  Maybe that is how it all works.  You just get so tired trying to cook everything that you don’t bother anymore.  God, please help me to do what I want to do and not what I hate to do.  Wait a minute, another mixed message, I hate to cook too.  Now what am I going to do?


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